Torch Bearers Of The Void

By Eckhart Tolle: The Power of Now

One night not long after my twenty-ninth birthday, I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread. I had woken up with such a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it had ever been. The silence of the night, the vague outlines of the furniture in the dark room, the distant noise of a passing train – everything felt so alien, so hostile, and so utterly meaningless that it created in me a
deep loathing of the world. The most loathsome thing of all, however, was my own existence. What was the point in continuing to live with this burden of misery? Why carry on with this continuous struggle? I could feel that a deep longing for annihilation, for nonexistence, was now becoming much stronger than the instinctive desire to continue to live.

“I cannot live with myself any longer.” This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. `Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: the `I’ and the `self’ that `I’ cannot live with.” “Maybe,” I thought, “only one of them is real.” I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. I was fully conscious, but there were no more thoughts. Then I felt drawn into what seemed like a vortex of energy. It was a slow movement at first and then accelerated. I was gripped by an intense fear, and my body started to shake. I heard the words “resist nothing,” as if spoken inside my chest. I could feel myself being sucked into a void. It felt as if the void was inside myself rather than outside. Suddenly, there was no more fear, and I let myself fall into that void. I have no recollection of what happened after that.

I was awakened by the chirping of a bird outside the window. I had never heard such a sound before. My eyes were still closed, and I saw the image of a precious diamond. Yes, if a diamond could make a sound, this is what it would be like. I opened my eyes. The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains. Without any thought, I felt, I knew, that there is infinitely more to light than we realize. That soft luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself. Tears came into my eyes. I got up and walked around the room. I recognized the room, and yet I knew that I had never truly seen it before. Everything was fresh and pristine, as if it had just come into existence. I picked up things, a pencil, an empty bottle, marveling at the beauty and aliveness of it all.

That day I walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on earth, as if I had just been born into this world. For the next five months, I lived in a state of uninterrupted deep peace and bliss. After that, it diminished somewhat in intensity, or perhaps it just seemed to because it became my natural state. I could still function in the world, although I realized that nothing I ever did could possibly add anything to what I already had.

I knew, of course, that something profoundly significant had happened to me, but I didn’t understand it at all. It wasn’t until several years later, after I had read spiritual texts and spent time with spiritual teachers, that I realized that what everybody was looking for had already happened to me. I understood that the intense pressure of suffering that night must have forced my consciousness to withdraw from its identification with the unhappy and deeply fearful self, which is ultimately a fiction of the mind. This withdrawal must have been so complete that this false, suffering self immediately collapsed, just as if a plug had been pulled out of an inflatable toy. What was left then was my true nature as the ever-present I am: consciousness in its pure state prior to identification with form. Later I also learned to go into that inner timeless and deathless realm that I had originally perceived as a void and remain fully conscious. I dwelt in states of such indescribable bliss and sacredness that even the original experience I just described pales in comparison. A time came when, for a while, I was left with nothing on the physical plane. I had no relationships, no job, no home, no socially defined identity. I spent almost two years sitting on park benches in a state of the most intense joy.

27 responses to “Torch Bearers Of The Void

  • Darren

    Ahh none of this is by “Duped”, its by Eckhart Tolle. Just enter it into google and you will see that. Seems you’ve been duped!

    • delendaestziobot

      It would not be the first time I have been duped. Do you have a link I can follow to see where “Duped” has copied Eckhart Tolle. I have never heard of Eckhart Tolle till now, so I am not familiar with his work.

    • delendaestziobot

      I just read one article by Eckhart Tolle, just now, on his website, and he wrote about alcohol being a vegetable spirit, and to drink it means that one will experience the vegetable nature. This I believe is very true, as it is with all drugs of a similar plant based nature. I believe and have written that Jesus Christ is Yeast – Yeast is Jesus, in German J is Y. He is the vine crucified to the stake with nails in a vineyard and he is beer born in the manger – vat. Jesus is the idol of the Brewers Guild (See Third Reich Pilgrim. Part I.)

  • Darren

    The nigger loving Eckhart Tolle is now an Ehrean? hahaha!

  • delendaestziobot

    I have had similar experiences, the strongest of all was when I was 17, when I experienced in the space of a few hours, whilst sleeping, a time out of this world, a timelessness, I felt all of Eternity and everything that ever was and and ever will be, I saw my own life as if it was already predetermined, and I knew already every moment of my life, and my life was a mere moment in the vast immensity of Eternity. Words simply cannot describe it, but after that experience I have always felt lost in this world, as if this world is not my home.

  • Steve

    You may have missed Duped’s entire point. He mentioned in your other post that he would be quoting Eckhart Tolle’s “The power of now” in a following comment, which you made into a post claiming to be written by Duped.

  • delendaestziobot

    Should be OK now, references are updated, thankyou for your vigilance with the perils of publishing.

  • delendaestziobot


    “E. Tolle is also married to an Asian.”

    Well, I did not know that, but if that is the case, I would not be surprised because it is very common for German-Canadians to love and marry Asians…

    Personally, I don’t believe in marriage…

  • delendaestziobot


    “He’s quite fond of Judaism”

    I would not be surprised if he is fond of Judaism, it is very common for German-Canadians to be fond of Judaism.

    • MOBO

      dupeds point was that Eckharts work was designed to keep people asleep. He saw a similarity between Eckhart and Hosners experience, meaning Hosner is asleep. And yourself obviously!

  • Darren

    Tolle = Spiritual Communism

  • Duped

    I made two posts in the other thread, one right after the other, posted during the same minute. There is not that much room to misunderstand me. I don’t think I deceived anyone, it was for Hosner, and I mentioned who I would quote and from what book. I should have put the name at then end though, I give you that. Tolle is obviously fake and he uses common physiological experiences of people who are instinctively disgusted by the common world and mixes it with Eastern and Western religious and philosophical ideas. If someone went through a similar experience that doesn’t mean that Tolle lied, he simply used bait. If one reads his work and follows him like a guru, one probably won’t go on exposing fake history. So yes, it’s a sleeping pill. In my opinion, it was similar to Hosner’s experience, he was exhausted and is now in Nirvana loving niggers. There is nothing wrong feeling what I quoted from Tolle, but doing nothing but sitting on a bench for 2 years and conditioning oneself to love the scum of the Earth is self-deception. My point is that this can be induced by prolonged exhaustion and trauma, and I don’t want Hosner to ultimately end up where Tolle landed. There’s a middle road, and it’s the better decision to make in the long run, and one can still be content with one’s life.

    • delendaestziobot

      I think you are right about Tolle picking up on other’s experiences and then repackaging them, and this would be as a “bait”. I think anyone who is promoted in the “System” by the “System” is part of the System. So Tolle could very easily have used someone else’s experiences and mimicked them, with language and writing this is so easy to do, and we have an entire “his-story” created by this method. And the History of humans is the recording of experiences that they themselves have not had.

      There was not much room for a misunderstanding but there was a misunderstanding on my part, due to the limitations of time.

      Prolonged exhaustion and trauma will lead one into a weakened state of mind.

  • Zoroaster

    And to think a Redhead Anglo from Australian could understand Richard Wager. We were all fooled.

    • delendaestziobot

      “How unjust!
      Wotan mocks us!
      You who through beauty reign,
      glittering, glorious race,
      like fools you yearned
      for your towers of stone;
      pledged as pay for your hall
      woman’s beauty and grace.
      We dull ones toil away,
      sweat with our work-hardened hands;
      we longed for a woman,
      so charming and fair,
      to grace our poor dwelling –
      and you say all was a joke?” – Fasolt, ‘The Ring of the Nibelung’ – Richard Wagner

      I have dark brown hair and a red beard, but now it is going grey.

  • laryensoufi

    Why keep juggling with mere weary words. There’s no time left for idle play! It’s all water & dust between fingers; afterwards, we eventually only walk on the dirt that covers our Mothers’ faces. Spoiling the Sidereal Plane with gibberish. Filling in the holes of our great ignorance with sundry tidbits from here & there, within the Astral Maelstrom, honoring other men’s vanities.
    Get to work! It’s awful, but worth the try! Do it for the GOLDEN CHAIN. The Hermitical sequence, with the blood we have. Purify.
    Separate the dross!
    Respect our kind. Die & die again. Rise. …devour our double. Extract from our wet ashes, the crystal vessel for the morrow.



    • delendaestziobot

      What can we work towards here? Where is our “kind”?

      To destroy Gerda and never return, that is the only work. Their “words” formed the structure of the System, therefore one can destroy their words.

      The Draupnir Ring, the Golden Chain, have been found, mundane labours, profiting nothing, as one can see NOW!!!!!

      Ehrean Geist

      • laryensoufi

        …those who belong to the Golden Chain have been taken away. It’s the Cord that connects you to the Eternal breath. You cannot escape it, once you’ve been chosen! This world is a fallen place “from truth”. Gerda has nothing to do with it, because she’s really only your own loathsome or loved self. Coming to life in the dungheap!
        Those labours as you call them are but the shadows that you’re own metamorphoses cast.

    • delendaestziobot

      The “Golden Cord” is Chordae tendineae – the Heart Strings. The Golden Cords were made of the strings of our own hearts. . I am just writing about this now in TRP II.

  • delendaestziobot

    Penetrating thoughts amongst the shadowy dungheap of fallen Gerda where all behave “as the wind behaves”. The only Love is that which transcends Time.

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